Tick tock on the clock at my spot
And I am waitin' for you to call me back,
but you're not
And it's killin' me
Killin' me
It's been so long since I've last seen your face
Can't shake the feelin' that your feedin' me
Make my heart race
When you kiiiss me
Softly.
It's the look in your eyes,
Got my hypnotized
And I want you, baby,
I need you, baby
Right here, right now
Hope you'll be here real soon
We can do what we do
In the meantime I'm waitin'
I'm waitin'
I don't know. I feel so. Lonely. The weekend when I'm home alone, I realize that I'm really alone. Despite the amount of friends I have, the one who matters the most has been busy all weekend. I understand that he's been busy and he has his own life. I'm just not used to being this lonely. If I had family that were home with me, I think I'd be able to cope with this "new found loneliness" better.
Ah, finally. My family is home. I hate to say it, but I've missed them. I feel like crying. All is done, and this weekend is over.
27 July 2008
Summer Report #16
Whoo! First all nighter of the summer. I made pancakes at 8pm, finished my advanced English essay at 1, forums until 3, cleaned at 3:40, chilled upstairs, called Karl at 5ish, bloggin' now. I'm debating whether I should go exercise or not, but I don't think it's gonna work out. HAHA. Bleh. Shut up, fatty.
So, I'm getting more and more stoked everyday about going to the Bay area, again. Karl tells me he "thinks" he knows when he's coming.. :( I don't want him to. I still wanna surprise him. Well. Either way I'm gonna be happy to finally be with him again. But my current factor of stress? I'm always wondering when the next time him and I will be together again after this summer. I'd love to say we see each other once a month, but that's seriously not realistic at all. Nevertheless, each time I see him, he gets a little more handsome-r every time. I love seeing his cute face. He has really nice eyes too. Even though half of the time you can't see them because he's so chinky. Haha! Well, it might just be because he's around me and he's always smiling, so that makes him extra chinky. Hi, Karl xD DUDE, but seriously, Kamz could totally pass as Karl's sister. I'm so serious. Even Tracy thinks so. Haha! Oh, jeeeebus.
Hm, so what to do today. Mani, pedi, brows. Whadelse. Drive around somewhere? Bleh, Idk. Staying home all day is traumatizing. I didn't go outside at all the past two days. Gay. I swear though, my mom called me last night when it just got dark reminding me to close and lock all of the doors and windows, just like a gory, painful, tormenting, murder movie all waiting to happen for me. I'm surprised nothing happened to me except for this freakin' moth that tried to attacked me when I was mopping the floors at 4. Oh, and then I got all worked up and worried about Angelo's beta, Shocker, because the dude was just flat posted up against the bowl, just chillin'. I turned on the light and was like "WTF? LULZ." I tried to feed the fish, but he didn't eat. So I'll try again later. I wanna make him fat and watch him explode. Then tell Angelo it was all of his fault.
I'm going to be SO ballin' when I go to the bay. I'm kind of upset because I know Kayla got to go to Disneyland and she'll be able to go to the Bay Area, too. I really wish my mom hadn't gave in to Kayla's manipulation, and made her just choose one, not both. Whatever. I'll still be ballin' with the $10 that Matt borrowed from me and hasn't given me back. Hellllllll.
So, I'm getting more and more stoked everyday about going to the Bay area, again. Karl tells me he "thinks" he knows when he's coming.. :( I don't want him to. I still wanna surprise him. Well. Either way I'm gonna be happy to finally be with him again. But my current factor of stress? I'm always wondering when the next time him and I will be together again after this summer. I'd love to say we see each other once a month, but that's seriously not realistic at all. Nevertheless, each time I see him, he gets a little more handsome-r every time. I love seeing his cute face. He has really nice eyes too. Even though half of the time you can't see them because he's so chinky. Haha! Well, it might just be because he's around me and he's always smiling, so that makes him extra chinky. Hi, Karl xD DUDE, but seriously, Kamz could totally pass as Karl's sister. I'm so serious. Even Tracy thinks so. Haha! Oh, jeeeebus.
Hm, so what to do today. Mani, pedi, brows. Whadelse. Drive around somewhere? Bleh, Idk. Staying home all day is traumatizing. I didn't go outside at all the past two days. Gay. I swear though, my mom called me last night when it just got dark reminding me to close and lock all of the doors and windows, just like a gory, painful, tormenting, murder movie all waiting to happen for me. I'm surprised nothing happened to me except for this freakin' moth that tried to attacked me when I was mopping the floors at 4. Oh, and then I got all worked up and worried about Angelo's beta, Shocker, because the dude was just flat posted up against the bowl, just chillin'. I turned on the light and was like "WTF? LULZ." I tried to feed the fish, but he didn't eat. So I'll try again later. I wanna make him fat and watch him explode. Then tell Angelo it was all of his fault.
I'm going to be SO ballin' when I go to the bay. I'm kind of upset because I know Kayla got to go to Disneyland and she'll be able to go to the Bay Area, too. I really wish my mom hadn't gave in to Kayla's manipulation, and made her just choose one, not both. Whatever. I'll still be ballin' with the $10 that Matt borrowed from me and hasn't given me back. Hellllllll.
25 July 2008
Summer Report #15
Ugh. No more bred's.
Hm. So I'll be in the bay area soon.. I can't wait to see Karl again! Just to be able to hug and kiss him again. To be able to see him everyday for a few days and know that I can be comfortable and be who I actually am without caring about my parents. Hm, surprising Karl at his house and then going to Eggette to buy eggettes! :D Oh, but I can't forget about meeting with Dani and Tracy! Yay :) I'm excited. Ooh, for Great America, too. Well, not really. Great America isn't too "great," IMO. Haha, but hey, brings back a TON of memories.
I'm in need of money. I am SO broke. It's ridiculous. Ugh, and I'm annoyed by how much money I've let people borrow, and their attempts to NOT giving back when they say they will. Seriously. I mean, I'm all for being a friend, but it's only with the expectation that you'll be a good friend and pay me back when you say you will. SMH at the amount of people that I just have not been seeing this summer. All I do is stay home and not do anything. I guess that's what makes me so excited to go to the bay. I don't have to be too responsible, and I get to let loose like whatever.
So far this summer I've finished reading the first chapter of the AP World History book and answer the majority of the focus questions, read the advanced English book, written out most of my outline, and written 900<1500>A.B.B." keepin' me up. Jesus is hilarious, and helllla hope that we're in the same AP period. ABB FO LIFE!
I'm ready to leave San Diego.
Hm. So I'll be in the bay area soon.. I can't wait to see Karl again! Just to be able to hug and kiss him again. To be able to see him everyday for a few days and know that I can be comfortable and be who I actually am without caring about my parents. Hm, surprising Karl at his house and then going to Eggette to buy eggettes! :D Oh, but I can't forget about meeting with Dani and Tracy! Yay :) I'm excited. Ooh, for Great America, too. Well, not really. Great America isn't too "great," IMO. Haha, but hey, brings back a TON of memories.
I'm in need of money. I am SO broke. It's ridiculous. Ugh, and I'm annoyed by how much money I've let people borrow, and their attempts to NOT giving back when they say they will. Seriously. I mean, I'm all for being a friend, but it's only with the expectation that you'll be a good friend and pay me back when you say you will. SMH at the amount of people that I just have not been seeing this summer. All I do is stay home and not do anything. I guess that's what makes me so excited to go to the bay. I don't have to be too responsible, and I get to let loose like whatever.
So far this summer I've finished reading the first chapter of the AP World History book and answer the majority of the focus questions, read the advanced English book, written out most of my outline, and written 900<1500>A.B.B." keepin' me up. Jesus is hilarious, and helllla hope that we're in the same AP period. ABB FO LIFE!
I'm ready to leave San Diego.
22 July 2008
Love vs. Love pt. VII
I look at my brother and think, "Wow, he's eight years old now." I forget that he isn't old enough to understand my situation or relationships between my boyfriend, my parents, my sister, my cousins, or my friends. Then I realize it was his birthday, just yesterday. Seeing him so happy that he starts to tear up, but not so much that he hides his happiness because he's embarrassed to cry. Haha, I love seeing him excited to celebrate his birthday, and being able to spend the day with him is just a great feeling.
At the end of the day, I deal with, I don't know what to really call it.. It's making me rethink if I'll be able to tolerate both of them constantly disagreeing with each other when we're all together again. I can't stand the stress, the fighting, the screaming, or having to deal with the both of you and having to comfort the both of you at the same time. It's so fucking hard. If it comes to you two not coming to some sort of conclusion, I'm not going to hang out with either of you when we're together. I mean it. I have friends that I can chill with. I don't always have to hang out with you two. I only do it because I choose to. Because I love you guys. But if you two honestly can't get along, then I won't deal with you guys either.
At the end of the day, I deal with, I don't know what to really call it.. It's making me rethink if I'll be able to tolerate both of them constantly disagreeing with each other when we're all together again. I can't stand the stress, the fighting, the screaming, or having to deal with the both of you and having to comfort the both of you at the same time. It's so fucking hard. If it comes to you two not coming to some sort of conclusion, I'm not going to hang out with either of you when we're together. I mean it. I have friends that I can chill with. I don't always have to hang out with you two. I only do it because I choose to. Because I love you guys. But if you two honestly can't get along, then I won't deal with you guys either.
21 July 2008
Summer Report #14
Happy birthday, kiddo. I hope I made your day as great as possible. I'm happy I was able to celebrate your eighth birthday with you, and I know if I miss any more years, I'll regret it.
Am I really this needy? Kayla told me that every time we go shopping, that I put my mom or dad on a guilt trip to buy me what I want, but then again.. I rarely get what I want. When I'm not allowed to go out to parties (even over the summer!) I take it out on their money. I realized that already, because I do it intentionally. In the line to pay for what I got, Kayla thanked my mom, and my mom smiled at her. And then when I thanked her right after, she frowned at me. I asked her why, and she told me it's because I go shopping "a lot." Hell, when do I ever go shopping? I just get new pick ups from the money that I save from the money that I receive. And Kayla's too lazy to learn how to sew her jeans and make them fit, so she just buys new ones once or twice a month.
As of right now, I'm not excited to visit San Francisco or Manteca. I feel like staying home and moping around. That way I don't have to face you or deal with the stress of Kayla pissing me off and putting a huge guilt trip on me that will haunt me for the rest of the two weeks that I'll be with you.
I'm fucking done.
Am I really this needy? Kayla told me that every time we go shopping, that I put my mom or dad on a guilt trip to buy me what I want, but then again.. I rarely get what I want. When I'm not allowed to go out to parties (even over the summer!) I take it out on their money. I realized that already, because I do it intentionally. In the line to pay for what I got, Kayla thanked my mom, and my mom smiled at her. And then when I thanked her right after, she frowned at me. I asked her why, and she told me it's because I go shopping "a lot." Hell, when do I ever go shopping? I just get new pick ups from the money that I save from the money that I receive. And Kayla's too lazy to learn how to sew her jeans and make them fit, so she just buys new ones once or twice a month.
As of right now, I'm not excited to visit San Francisco or Manteca. I feel like staying home and moping around. That way I don't have to face you or deal with the stress of Kayla pissing me off and putting a huge guilt trip on me that will haunt me for the rest of the two weeks that I'll be with you.
I'm fucking done.
17 July 2008
Summer Report #13
We are reassured. Thank you to my "kuya" Jerik, even though you're younger than me :) I don't know what Karl and I would have done without you, real talk.
But now, I'm even more stoked about going to the bay area. I discussed with Kayla whether we should go to Disneyland or to Manteca, and we figured that we'd rather go to Manteca. I'm so elated. But just because I'll be in the Bay Area, doesn't mean I'm gonna be lagging on the school summer assignments. I've already teamed up with my ABB, Jesus! (A.B.B. = Asian-Beaner Buddies, LOL.) I didn't make that up, I promise. Anyway, we've already discussed that there's a big chance we'll be in the same AP World History class, and us two, plus a few others, will make up a study group and yea. I'm glad that I'm already starting these alliances so that I'll be better prepared for the year to come. I'm planning to go to Border's tomorrow night to pick up the books and I'll be set for the rest of the summer.
.. I have a feeling that when my parents and Angelo go to Disneyland will be when I'll be in the Bay Area. I hope you're ready for me, Karl. (;
But now, I'm even more stoked about going to the bay area. I discussed with Kayla whether we should go to Disneyland or to Manteca, and we figured that we'd rather go to Manteca. I'm so elated. But just because I'll be in the Bay Area, doesn't mean I'm gonna be lagging on the school summer assignments. I've already teamed up with my ABB, Jesus! (A.B.B. = Asian-Beaner Buddies, LOL.) I didn't make that up, I promise. Anyway, we've already discussed that there's a big chance we'll be in the same AP World History class, and us two, plus a few others, will make up a study group and yea. I'm glad that I'm already starting these alliances so that I'll be better prepared for the year to come. I'm planning to go to Border's tomorrow night to pick up the books and I'll be set for the rest of the summer.
.. I have a feeling that when my parents and Angelo go to Disneyland will be when I'll be in the Bay Area. I hope you're ready for me, Karl. (;
16 July 2008
Love vs. Love pt. VI
All is said. All will be done on Friday.
Please consider understanding my situation .. I'm only doing this because I love him, but I love our family too, and I don't think it would be a good idea if I didn't have this planned. I'd rather be smart about my actions than fuck up and get even more fucked up. This subject is even more important than just being able to sneak out to see him. It's so much more complicated, and I'm trying to responsible for myself, for you, and for him.
You're not even giving it a chance. If you really love me, you'd think about it and realize that I'm trying to be smart about my actions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
part VI.ii
I'm glad you've finally accepted it.. I knew I'd be able to count on you. It just sucks when in the beginning that when you aren't supportive, I have to start scheming things to get around everything.
So, I understand that us, together, that we're being more responsible about everything. I know we both want it, but still. Now we need to be even more responsible? I know that you're thinking along the lines of "Fuck, this sucks." when it comes down to it, and I'm sorry. But I'm thinking, what are the chances of it really happening? I mean, I know we're blessed with the situation we're already in, but what if we're even more blessed than we think? I only hope nothing negative comes from all of this..
Please consider understanding my situation .. I'm only doing this because I love him, but I love our family too, and I don't think it would be a good idea if I didn't have this planned. I'd rather be smart about my actions than fuck up and get even more fucked up. This subject is even more important than just being able to sneak out to see him. It's so much more complicated, and I'm trying to responsible for myself, for you, and for him.
You're not even giving it a chance. If you really love me, you'd think about it and realize that I'm trying to be smart about my actions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
part VI.ii
I'm glad you've finally accepted it.. I knew I'd be able to count on you. It just sucks when in the beginning that when you aren't supportive, I have to start scheming things to get around everything.
So, I understand that us, together, that we're being more responsible about everything. I know we both want it, but still. Now we need to be even more responsible? I know that you're thinking along the lines of "Fuck, this sucks." when it comes down to it, and I'm sorry. But I'm thinking, what are the chances of it really happening? I mean, I know we're blessed with the situation we're already in, but what if we're even more blessed than we think? I only hope nothing negative comes from all of this..
14 July 2008
Summer Report #12
I've got my work cut out for me.
School starts in two months, and I'm already piled with assignments. I need to know chapter 1 of the AP World History book like the back of my hand, answer the focus questions to know that I do, get one of the assigned books for APWH, read it, and write an essay about it, get the right advanced English book, read it, then write an essay about it, then make the layouts for the Clubs and Student Life section for yearbook. No time for screwing up.
I can't believe I read half of a book that I wasn't even supposed to fk read. I'm so over this ish. And then I forgot to get the right book at the library today, smh.
I only hope that this summer is good to me. That if I work hard, I'll be hellllla rewarded with my efforts. Keep up, Deaj. You fuckin' got this.
In terms of going to the bay, I still don't know when. And fuck, I need a camera to take pictures of ish I need to sell.
From Uncle Sam's retirement ceremony in Balboa Park.
School starts in two months, and I'm already piled with assignments. I need to know chapter 1 of the AP World History book like the back of my hand, answer the focus questions to know that I do, get one of the assigned books for APWH, read it, and write an essay about it, get the right advanced English book, read it, then write an essay about it, then make the layouts for the Clubs and Student Life section for yearbook. No time for screwing up.
I can't believe I read half of a book that I wasn't even supposed to fk read. I'm so over this ish. And then I forgot to get the right book at the library today, smh.
I only hope that this summer is good to me. That if I work hard, I'll be hellllla rewarded with my efforts. Keep up, Deaj. You fuckin' got this.
In terms of going to the bay, I still don't know when. And fuck, I need a camera to take pictures of ish I need to sell.
From Uncle Sam's retirement ceremony in Balboa Park.
11 July 2008
Summer Report #11
Don't be jealous. I don't mean it in a sarcastic or any fucked up way. I'm serious.
I know you're overprotective of myself and other guys, but I really just want you to know that I'm yours, and nobody else's. Despite new "friends" and ish, you'll always be my best friend, and no one's gonna change that. I mean, all we've been through together, physically and over 500 miles away from each other, do you really think that I never think of you or consider your feelings?
The day that I stop loving you is the day I become atheist and don't know what things like Love, Happiness, and Satisfaction, are.
You know me better than this. I've always strived to make you as happy as possible. Especially visiting you. That's my favorite part! Leaving the San Diego airport, boarding the plane, anticipating my arrival, getting off of the plane, and leaving SFO to Andrew or April's house to plan the days I'll be able to spend with you. And we both know that our plans don't always work out the way we want them to, but I always try to make them go the way you want it to..
I've always hated coming back to San Diego airport. I didn't cry on the way back home the day after I met you for no reason.
You're always important to me. I think about you each and everyday, if not every second or minute. I'm always thinking of you. Don't you ever forget that I love you, Karl. No matter what.
I know you're overprotective of myself and other guys, but I really just want you to know that I'm yours, and nobody else's. Despite new "friends" and ish, you'll always be my best friend, and no one's gonna change that. I mean, all we've been through together, physically and over 500 miles away from each other, do you really think that I never think of you or consider your feelings?
The day that I stop loving you is the day I become atheist and don't know what things like Love, Happiness, and Satisfaction, are.
You know me better than this. I've always strived to make you as happy as possible. Especially visiting you. That's my favorite part! Leaving the San Diego airport, boarding the plane, anticipating my arrival, getting off of the plane, and leaving SFO to Andrew or April's house to plan the days I'll be able to spend with you. And we both know that our plans don't always work out the way we want them to, but I always try to make them go the way you want it to..
I've always hated coming back to San Diego airport. I didn't cry on the way back home the day after I met you for no reason.
You're always important to me. I think about you each and everyday, if not every second or minute. I'm always thinking of you. Don't you ever forget that I love you, Karl. No matter what.
10 July 2008
Summer Report #10
Hm. First time I've blogged twice within the same 24 hours. Interesting.
This morning, my dad took me to jog five miles. Obviously, I couldn't keep up, so I walked part of it. It's not my fault I didn't have time to loosen my laces when Nina tied them super tight the day before. I was hella exhausted after the whole run, so I took a shower and stayed up. Let me add that my dad and I woke up at 4:30am, and got back at 5:30am. I'm not too slow of a runner, but it doesn't take me an hour to run just one mile.
After breakfast, we all got ready to leave. Kayla, Nina, and I all had the intentions of going to Clairemont/Kearny Mesa to go to Wow! before Nina left, but instead, my dad took us to Cabrillo Monument/Point Loma. I was cranky when we got there-- it was due to lack of sleep. I don't know what willpower got me up and walking. We went home soon after.
During lunch we chilled at home, and then a few hours later decided to go to Wow! until my dad finally realized that it's too late to go, and if we did, Nina would miss her flight. So we went straight to the Airport and sent her off. I slept the whole way home, and then a little bit more when I did get home.
Once I accepted that Nina's actually gone, I cleaned up a little. Then I started feeling mad lonely. Started thinking about visiting the bay and finally getting to see Karl again.. It's been a good few months since we've been together physically.. and lately, I think both of us have been feenin' for each other more than usual. I only hope that when I'm in the bay, that neither of us will become disappointed, and that our plans with each other work out. Oh Karl, how I miss you so.. I'm feenin' for your kisses.
Oh and, new pick ups from today but no pictures: Sneaker Freakette tee from the M.A.F.I.A., and Hellz Bellz "Militia" Hoodie from duckah0lic. I guess I'm satisfied for now.
This morning, my dad took me to jog five miles. Obviously, I couldn't keep up, so I walked part of it. It's not my fault I didn't have time to loosen my laces when Nina tied them super tight the day before. I was hella exhausted after the whole run, so I took a shower and stayed up. Let me add that my dad and I woke up at 4:30am, and got back at 5:30am. I'm not too slow of a runner, but it doesn't take me an hour to run just one mile.
After breakfast, we all got ready to leave. Kayla, Nina, and I all had the intentions of going to Clairemont/Kearny Mesa to go to Wow! before Nina left, but instead, my dad took us to Cabrillo Monument/Point Loma. I was cranky when we got there-- it was due to lack of sleep. I don't know what willpower got me up and walking. We went home soon after.
During lunch we chilled at home, and then a few hours later decided to go to Wow! until my dad finally realized that it's too late to go, and if we did, Nina would miss her flight. So we went straight to the Airport and sent her off. I slept the whole way home, and then a little bit more when I did get home.
Once I accepted that Nina's actually gone, I cleaned up a little. Then I started feeling mad lonely. Started thinking about visiting the bay and finally getting to see Karl again.. It's been a good few months since we've been together physically.. and lately, I think both of us have been feenin' for each other more than usual. I only hope that when I'm in the bay, that neither of us will become disappointed, and that our plans with each other work out. Oh Karl, how I miss you so.. I'm feenin' for your kisses.
Oh and, new pick ups from today but no pictures: Sneaker Freakette tee from the M.A.F.I.A., and Hellz Bellz "Militia" Hoodie from duckah0lic. I guess I'm satisfied for now.
Summer Report #9
Deaj's Summer '08 to do list:
_ Buy/borrow one of the assigned books for APWH _ Read it ^^^
_ Write a review ^^^
x Read Chapter 1 of APWH textbook _ Summarize/outline reading sections
_ Answer focus questions
x Borrow English assignment book
_ Read it ^^^
_ Write essay ^^^
x Organize closet drawers
x Buy new hamper
_ Play for Morse tennis?
_ Chill in and with the Bay Area kids!
_ Teach Karl how to dance :DDDD
x Get my 8g from Noah @ Otay
_ Get more heat that Karl
_ Kill him with OG heat ^^^
_ Filipino Day at Soak City?
x Chill with cousins 6/26-6/29
_ Watch all of the movies I wanna watch!
_ Go on that group date with Dani, Tracy, Paula, and Julianna.
So. What's been going on? Well, yesterday while everyone went out, I stayed home and cleaned like crazy. I'm glad I did since Wow! wasn't even open when they went :) I guess I made the right choice. Although today since I got the majority of my chores done yesterday, I'll be going to Wow! and Yogurt World with Nina and Kayla.
Apparently, I look like Ailyn from SoReal Cru.
Yea.
Anyway, I can't wait to hit up the bay. No, Karl. I really don't know when I'm going. But I'm still super stoked. LOL, Kayla had a dream that involved Javi, Lance, and Hiro. Weirrrd. Well, I'm outskeez.
Toodles!
_ Buy/borrow one of the assigned books for APWH _ Read it ^^^
_ Write a review ^^^
x Read Chapter 1 of APWH textbook _ Summarize/outline reading sections
_ Answer focus questions
x Borrow English assignment book
_ Read it ^^^
_ Write essay ^^^
x Organize closet drawers
x Buy new hamper
_ Play for Morse tennis?
_ Chill in and with the Bay Area kids!
_ Teach Karl how to dance :DDDD
x Get my 8g from Noah @ Otay
_ Get more heat that Karl
_ Kill him with OG heat ^^^
_ Filipino Day at Soak City?
x Chill with cousins 6/26-6/29
_ Watch all of the movies I wanna watch!
_ Go on that group date with Dani, Tracy, Paula, and Julianna.
So. What's been going on? Well, yesterday while everyone went out, I stayed home and cleaned like crazy. I'm glad I did since Wow! wasn't even open when they went :) I guess I made the right choice. Although today since I got the majority of my chores done yesterday, I'll be going to Wow! and Yogurt World with Nina and Kayla.
Apparently, I look like Ailyn from SoReal Cru.
Yea.
Anyway, I can't wait to hit up the bay. No, Karl. I really don't know when I'm going. But I'm still super stoked. LOL, Kayla had a dream that involved Javi, Lance, and Hiro. Weirrrd. Well, I'm outskeez.
Toodles!
06 July 2008
Summer Report #8
I. Am. So. Fucking. Annoyed.
Stay the hell out my ass, motherfucker. I'm allergic to all types of bullshit. Disrespect me, and I'll disrespect you right back. How hard is it to bring a couple of small clothing articles to your room that you share with our brother? Fuck, I'll cuss you out again if I have to, you fucking asshole. Then to wake up with Dad on my case about you leaving Angelo's fucking clothes outside of my room because you got cussed out and wanted to get some revenge. Again, how hard is it to put some fucking clothes in the room you two share?
And FUCK. Why do you care that we stay up late and not eat when you want us to! We go to sleep early when we're hella beat, and a lot of the times we aren't. I didn't eat because I am not fucking hungry. Not because I don't want to, but because my body doesn't want the food at this fucking moment. Why can't you fucking understand that shit?
"The bubbles aren't coming out."
"You fill it up with water; it's called the law of displacement."
Dad, Kayla doesn't give a shit about physics right now. She just wants to finish the chore and be done with it. So stop serving the beef.
I'm not gonna spit our issues online or any of that shit. That's just not me. I don't really have anything to say about you anyway..
What kind of thread is "Help me match these?" asking for people to help you match clothing with shoes? I know there's a sticky on ISS, but fuck, smh. It's common sense. Posting pointless threads to raise your post count is hella stupid. Agh, gtfo fagbeasts. Go to NT and get your pussy eaten out by perverted guys before you waste space on FSF or something. Shit.
El fin.
Stay the hell out my ass, motherfucker. I'm allergic to all types of bullshit. Disrespect me, and I'll disrespect you right back. How hard is it to bring a couple of small clothing articles to your room that you share with our brother? Fuck, I'll cuss you out again if I have to, you fucking asshole. Then to wake up with Dad on my case about you leaving Angelo's fucking clothes outside of my room because you got cussed out and wanted to get some revenge. Again, how hard is it to put some fucking clothes in the room you two share?
And FUCK. Why do you care that we stay up late and not eat when you want us to! We go to sleep early when we're hella beat, and a lot of the times we aren't. I didn't eat because I am not fucking hungry. Not because I don't want to, but because my body doesn't want the food at this fucking moment. Why can't you fucking understand that shit?
"The bubbles aren't coming out."
"You fill it up with water; it's called the law of displacement."
Dad, Kayla doesn't give a shit about physics right now. She just wants to finish the chore and be done with it. So stop serving the beef.
I'm not gonna spit our issues online or any of that shit. That's just not me. I don't really have anything to say about you anyway..
What kind of thread is "Help me match these?" asking for people to help you match clothing with shoes? I know there's a sticky on ISS, but fuck, smh. It's common sense. Posting pointless threads to raise your post count is hella stupid. Agh, gtfo fagbeasts. Go to NT and get your pussy eaten out by perverted guys before you waste space on FSF or something. Shit.
El fin.
04 July 2008
Summer Report #7
Happy Independence Day.
I guess I used to be semi-stupid. I would get buzzed up like no other. Today, I've figured that I'll stay clean for a while. Drinking up with even family is scary. My 11-year-old sister started drinking before noon and got a little tipsy. Hm. Then my uncle, who was drunk, drove my sister, my cuzzo, his 1-year-old daughter, and I home. Along the way he cussed out a dude on a bicycle, cussed out pedestrians, flirted with 50-60 year old women, cut people off on the road, and ran so many red lights. All because he was a drunk and had to piss. How do you honestly deal with that? Ugh, I feel so dirty; I really just wanna go home, take a shower, catch up on summer reading assignments, and maybe even clean my house for once. Haha.
Other than that, today was interesting. Once Nina and I got to Seaport, we roamed around the shops. Soon we got hella hungry and reported back to the Charger's tent and grubbed. When Kayla got there, we decided to roll out once again and walk around the shops and booths. We ended up meeting some really interesting characters. There was a guy, born and raised in San Diego, that was selling his creation called Clayians, sort of like the little toys they sell at Kid Robot and ish. He sold them by "donation," and recommended that people gave him somewhere between $5-$10 for each. I was like, "WHAT THE HAYL." He kept trying to persuade us, so we went "next door" to this other guy who did henna. Kayla and Nina were already planning to get one, so when they did, we just talked to the guy and got to know him. It turns out he's full Filipino, and hella does NOT look like it, and comes to San Diego for the summer from the Philippines to make a few extra bucks, and lives on his boat when he's in SD. In my opinion, he was the best henna artist there. While he was drawing the tatt's on Nina and Kayla, he told us a story about one of the palm readers who worked in the same area. He told us about how she got arrested once for being violent, and then once she got out, she returned to where she worked, and got arrested again for assault. I left out a lot of details, but it's scary, regardless. As soon as Kayla and Nina were done, he asked me if I was gonna get one. I simply replied, "no," because I didn't wanna really use my money. But he offered to give me a small free one, just for fun, and for making his day. Haha, he also gave us a pinoy discount. :) Did I mention that while us three girls were sitting, a group of three guys were walking past, checking us out? I swear I saw them at the mall yesterday. And one of the guys was wearing the same outfit, too! HAHA. Sometime after, we walked past a booth that offered free palm readings. I took the opportunity and gave it a shot. The lady told me about how I'd live a long life, no specific amount of years, that my profession would include a lot of traveling and having to do with clothes, or something like that, that I would go through three more relationships before I get married, but she didn't tell me if it'd be three different people in the relationships or other possibilities, I will only be married once with three kids, no divorces, and other irrelevant stuff. I don't know whether I should believe what she told me or not. I think I'll just wait and see what happens.
At Seaport, the day pretty much consisted of walking around the shops, going back to the tent, eating, resting, then going around more. We read through magazines, went through a ton of shops, sat on the rocks, looked out to the Coronado bay, got freakin' wet because of Josh and his minions, and ate more. Nothing too amazing. Then the crazy drive home. I was so scared. I'm just happy I'm not in the car anymore. It sort of makes me realize that I as much as I rebel now, that I need to be smart and I don't want to be ridiculously reckless about things.
I'm home now, and that's all that matters. I'm still debating if I want to go watch the fireworks in Spring Valley. I might just stay home and catch up on reading. I'm not in the mood to watch lights in the sky. I'd rather watch Karl sleep. And that's not meant to offend him. He's just really cute when he's sleeping.
I miss him so much, and I can't wait to cuddle with him again.
I guess I used to be semi-stupid. I would get buzzed up like no other. Today, I've figured that I'll stay clean for a while. Drinking up with even family is scary. My 11-year-old sister started drinking before noon and got a little tipsy. Hm. Then my uncle, who was drunk, drove my sister, my cuzzo, his 1-year-old daughter, and I home. Along the way he cussed out a dude on a bicycle, cussed out pedestrians, flirted with 50-60 year old women, cut people off on the road, and ran so many red lights. All because he was a drunk and had to piss. How do you honestly deal with that? Ugh, I feel so dirty; I really just wanna go home, take a shower, catch up on summer reading assignments, and maybe even clean my house for once. Haha.
Other than that, today was interesting. Once Nina and I got to Seaport, we roamed around the shops. Soon we got hella hungry and reported back to the Charger's tent and grubbed. When Kayla got there, we decided to roll out once again and walk around the shops and booths. We ended up meeting some really interesting characters. There was a guy, born and raised in San Diego, that was selling his creation called Clayians, sort of like the little toys they sell at Kid Robot and ish. He sold them by "donation," and recommended that people gave him somewhere between $5-$10 for each. I was like, "WHAT THE HAYL." He kept trying to persuade us, so we went "next door" to this other guy who did henna. Kayla and Nina were already planning to get one, so when they did, we just talked to the guy and got to know him. It turns out he's full Filipino, and hella does NOT look like it, and comes to San Diego for the summer from the Philippines to make a few extra bucks, and lives on his boat when he's in SD. In my opinion, he was the best henna artist there. While he was drawing the tatt's on Nina and Kayla, he told us a story about one of the palm readers who worked in the same area. He told us about how she got arrested once for being violent, and then once she got out, she returned to where she worked, and got arrested again for assault. I left out a lot of details, but it's scary, regardless. As soon as Kayla and Nina were done, he asked me if I was gonna get one. I simply replied, "no," because I didn't wanna really use my money. But he offered to give me a small free one, just for fun, and for making his day. Haha, he also gave us a pinoy discount. :) Did I mention that while us three girls were sitting, a group of three guys were walking past, checking us out? I swear I saw them at the mall yesterday. And one of the guys was wearing the same outfit, too! HAHA. Sometime after, we walked past a booth that offered free palm readings. I took the opportunity and gave it a shot. The lady told me about how I'd live a long life, no specific amount of years, that my profession would include a lot of traveling and having to do with clothes, or something like that, that I would go through three more relationships before I get married, but she didn't tell me if it'd be three different people in the relationships or other possibilities, I will only be married once with three kids, no divorces, and other irrelevant stuff. I don't know whether I should believe what she told me or not. I think I'll just wait and see what happens.
At Seaport, the day pretty much consisted of walking around the shops, going back to the tent, eating, resting, then going around more. We read through magazines, went through a ton of shops, sat on the rocks, looked out to the Coronado bay, got freakin' wet because of Josh and his minions, and ate more. Nothing too amazing. Then the crazy drive home. I was so scared. I'm just happy I'm not in the car anymore. It sort of makes me realize that I as much as I rebel now, that I need to be smart and I don't want to be ridiculously reckless about things.
I'm home now, and that's all that matters. I'm still debating if I want to go watch the fireworks in Spring Valley. I might just stay home and catch up on reading. I'm not in the mood to watch lights in the sky. I'd rather watch Karl sleep. And that's not meant to offend him. He's just really cute when he's sleeping.
I miss him so much, and I can't wait to cuddle with him again.
03 July 2008
Summer Report #6
Nina, Kayla, my dad, and I went to Torrey Pines beach today. Kayla got moody, so Nina and I went "hiking" on one of the trails, and then walked back to the car and chilled. Later, my dad got back, took a shower, drove us to Ohana's, and back home. I was so happy to get the spam musubi in my tummy! :) Now we're all just chilling. Soon, I'll be reading my heart out, trying to figure out how I'll make The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood relevant to orchestra. HAHA, I don't know. I'll just put a ton of effort into it, and probably just bullshit it. Hm. I have yet to get the APWH book. Oh geez, what I do to strive and succeed.
I lack in a lot of places, but I am never unspoken. I will say what's on my mind when asked. Cheer uppy. I'm serious. Be happy since we'll be near each other and get a chance to chill this summer. Because I'm still really looking forward to that group date with Dani, Tracy, and your other homegirl. Real talk, Love. And my cuzzo, Kevin, might plan a bonfire for all of us, plus everyone I've met from the bay. Sound good? It's better than rendezvousing around SF without a plan and Kevin getting mad at us for using up his gas. I only hope that our plans work out, and we all enjoy our plans to the fullest. I hate disappointing you, and you know it. That's why I was so hesitant to telling you about the whole thing. Besides, you hella don't even know when I'm coming. But I'll tell you now, I will probably in Manteca when Nina comes back. I just don't know when I'll be in SF. Be aware, my love. Very aware. Because I could pop out of your closet any second now. Haha.
Nina and I had a little fun at the apple store yesterday. I can't wait to go crazy at the Forever 21 at Horton Plaza. But I wouldn't mind just staying at Fashion Valley.
^when I kicked her ass because she blocked me in the picture. She started getting butthurt (literally), and so we started arguing while freakin' Nina took a picture. HAHA.
I lack in a lot of places, but I am never unspoken. I will say what's on my mind when asked. Cheer uppy. I'm serious. Be happy since we'll be near each other and get a chance to chill this summer. Because I'm still really looking forward to that group date with Dani, Tracy, and your other homegirl. Real talk, Love. And my cuzzo, Kevin, might plan a bonfire for all of us, plus everyone I've met from the bay. Sound good? It's better than rendezvousing around SF without a plan and Kevin getting mad at us for using up his gas. I only hope that our plans work out, and we all enjoy our plans to the fullest. I hate disappointing you, and you know it. That's why I was so hesitant to telling you about the whole thing. Besides, you hella don't even know when I'm coming. But I'll tell you now, I will probably in Manteca when Nina comes back. I just don't know when I'll be in SF. Be aware, my love. Very aware. Because I could pop out of your closet any second now. Haha.
Nina and I had a little fun at the apple store yesterday. I can't wait to go crazy at the Forever 21 at Horton Plaza. But I wouldn't mind just staying at Fashion Valley.
^when I kicked her ass because she blocked me in the picture. She started getting butthurt (literally), and so we started arguing while freakin' Nina took a picture. HAHA.
01 July 2008
RIP sydni yoshie/Summer Report #5
It sucks how all of the greatest people die young. I didn't know Sydni personally, but I do know that she impacted a lot of the female sneakerheads, represented the females that were into sneakers, helped start and support FSF forums like no other, and was a beautiful photographer. But all I can really say is that she's in a better place now and watching over all of us. I only wish that I could have somehow gotten to know her while I had the chance. God bless to her and her family.
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Although Karl made a few mistakes with this transaction, I owe him a favor for being such a jerk to him. So if the guy he was supposedly trading with doesn't send out the Melvin's, k!llAH MATT and I will be making a short visit to him in Chula Vista. How fun. I can't wait to beat some ass down.
Oh dear, Karl, please, don't ever make these mistakes again. For my sake and yours.. You're only lucky that I live in San Diego, my love. Because if I didn't, you wouldn't have the chance to get them back. Love, don't ever send out first. I mean, EVER. Hm. What a learning experience.
I'm so bored with this Summer.
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Although Karl made a few mistakes with this transaction, I owe him a favor for being such a jerk to him. So if the guy he was supposedly trading with doesn't send out the Melvin's, k!llAH MATT and I will be making a short visit to him in Chula Vista. How fun. I can't wait to beat some ass down.
Oh dear, Karl, please, don't ever make these mistakes again. For my sake and yours.. You're only lucky that I live in San Diego, my love. Because if I didn't, you wouldn't have the chance to get them back. Love, don't ever send out first. I mean, EVER. Hm. What a learning experience.
I'm so bored with this Summer.
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