Summer Report #23

Last summer report? Hmm.. that kind of scares me. We'll have to see if I feel like blogging tomorrow, haha.

Friday was chill. After staying home all day, my fam and I went to Plaza Bonita to get my eight-year-old brother a cell phone. Kayla and I split from the parents and the kid brother, and walked around. By the time her and I got to Target, my mom freakin' called us to go to the AT&T Store and asked us if we wanted to upgrade our phones. But she didn't realize that we weren't even eligible to get upgraded. It was hella disappointing, especially since we do want an upgrade. Anyway, we went into Pacsun, and Kayla got two cute Vneck shirts. I swear she's turning into a hipster.. ha. Then my mom bought me this cuuuuuute red bag. Afterwards we went to Pat and Oscar's for dinner. I don't think I can stand having Pat and Oscar's more than twice a month. I'm already sick of their breadsticks. When dinner was over, we dipped out and went home.


Yesterday was dope: Karl and I patched things up, then I went to church. After church my fam and I went to have lunch at Saigon Restaurant; I promise they have the best pho in San Diego, and the best Thai Tea boba. Then we all went home and chilled. Then my parents came home, and my parents, sister, and I, notice how my little brother didn't come. HAHA. We went to the mall, and I caught Darryl and Jan walking together all matching and shit, HAH. We went to Tollhouse, and they bought two ice cream sandwiches, and then my homegirl Taylor hooked my sister and I up with free chocolate chip cookies. Holla! After my sister and I got caught with my parents and watched The Mummy, I don't really know which one it was.. but the lead dude's wife isn't the same from the first two movies, so it was awkward. My favorite part was when the yeti's come out of no where and help the good guys, haha.

Today, I feel left out because I'm not at the SF DXC :( Last time I had the chance to go, it was during my cousin's graduation ceremony then he had to have his reception that night, so I didn't get to go. Karl's there with Gabe, plus other dude's with bigger feet than me. But hey, whatever. I'll get my chance soon enough. I woke up early this morning to clean the bathroom, my room, the floors, and the dishes. So now I'm all done and bored. I wonder if I'm gonna chill with Kuya Tom today.. I hate doubting shit, but I don't think it's going to happen. Eh. Anyway, I wanna go to DSW at Otay Ranch Town Center to buy some flats. Maybe my mom will take my sister and I later.

Oh, and meet the labbit that Karl bought me a few weeks ago. His name is Señor Chris. :)

Summer Report #22

I went to school today, but I wasn't in class. So it still is Summer. Anyway. I went to school for orientation and to pick up my schedule. I'm torn in between Yearbook and Orchestra because they're both the same period. Although, I think I'm coming to the conclusion that I'll take orchestra, and keep participating with yearbook. I think Capuchino is gonna end up editor instead of me because I won't be able to take the class. For those who care, this is my schedule as of right now:

1- AP World History: Pompilio
2- Spanish 3-4: Wager
3- Advanced English: Barbolla
4- Honor's Chemistry: Dyson
5- Photography 1: Miles
6- Advanced Intermediate Algebra II: Pope
7- Chamber Orchestra: Paige

It was fun seeing everyone again, especially the boys. Seems to me that their balls dropped this summer, and they all have hella deeper voices, HAH. Brendon looks like such a. I don't even know. Short hair, deep voice, hella tall now. Everyone's so. Different. It's cool though. Nicole's still the same. SIKE. Two piercings and two gauge sizes bigger, she looks hella different. Dope thooooooooooough she might hook me up with some shit. If the counselor's change my schedule again so that I get Perez for Spanish, I'm gonna be so pissed.

Anyway, thanks so much to Gabe and Buya for talking to me last night, and helping me deal with issues. Karl, I know you're gonna read this so: I hope you're not upset at me. I forgive you because holding a grudge towards a mistake is stupid, and I hope that you understand what I mean. If God can forgive everyone for their sins and mistakes, including you, why can't I forgive you? We have been apart for more than three months before, so more than four months shouldn't be hard since we've made it work for the past eight months, right? And the fact is that I do love you, and I care for you. Always have, always will.

Buya cheered me up last night. "YO DAWG, I HERD YOU LIKE CARS SO WE PUT A CAR IN YO CAR SO YOU CAN DRIVE WHILE YOU DRIVE." and "when I'm emo, I crease my shoes."

Later today, I'm going to the mall with my fam to get my kid brother a cell phone. And he's like, 8 years old? Whatever, I'm not paying for it, our parents are. I have a feeling I'll be seeing the boppers from my school's orientation at Plaza. SMH.

Love vs. Love? pt. X

Because I love him.
Because I have faith.
Because you are a threat.
Because you are gorgeous.
Because you give me a run for my money.
Because he is amazing.
Because he is mine.
Because him and I have been through a lot.
Because we believe in love.
Because God is Love.
Because we are never together for long periods of time.
Because we both have faith.
Because we have been blessed.
Because you need to realize such things.
Because if you are a home wrecker, you better be ready to get cut the fuck up.
Because I care.
Because my family doesn't like him.
Because it causes us to become stronger together.
Because I am procrastinating on my APWH essay.
Because I have been since I went to Manteca/San Francisco.
Because I have been after I left Manteca/San Francisco.
Because this summer is the best summer yet.
Because every summer keeps getting better and better.
Because I am sure that next summer will be even better.
Because I love San Francisco.
But I love Karl more!
Because I have never tried eggettes before.
Because not that many people know what eggettes are!
Because I will not allow stress get the best of me.
Because I know that I can handle responsibility.
Because I know if you lose me now, you will regret it.
Because I know that I am not at my prime.
Because I am growing as a stronger person.
Because God puts me through Hell so I can make it to Heaven.
Because I want the future to involve you in my life for as long as possible.
Because it's Kuya Tom's 21st birthday today!
Because I like to be updated by close friends.
Because this school year will be stressful.
Because I know I will be able to handle it.
Because I look forward to the first day of school, picture day, my birthday, AB Samahan, and Homecoming Week.
Because I do not doubt the love of PAPIA.
Because Buya is hella funny.
Because he is younger than me, but has so much more experience than me.
Because he always lightens me up.
Because I love piano intro's.
Because they remind me of Karl's little sister.
Because Karl's sister reminds me of their little brother.
Because Karl's siblings remind me of their parents.
Because Karl's parents love me.
Because I love Karl's parents back.
Because Karl's mom is the cutest!
Because Hero is adorable.
Because Mika is shy but I know one day she'll open up to me and I'll be her ate :)
Because I have faith.
Because I got a haircut.
Because FSF will see the pictures first.
Because Karl might read this and look through my posts to see how my hair looks.
Because besides FSF, the upperclassmen will see my hair on Friday. (Maybe. Hehe.)
Because everyone will definitely see my hair on Tuesday.
Because I have school on Tuesday.
Because I will hang out with Kuya Tom on Sunday.
Because I really, really need to finish reading The Great Warming by Brian Fagan.
Because I need to write and finish my AP World History essay by tomorrow night.
Because I finished the book and the essay!
Because I am gone.

Summer Report #21

Ahh. It feels like I haven't blogged in forever. The last few days have been up and down. More further down than up. But is slowly going up, so it's good!

Friday morning went by slow. Kuya Tom helped speed it up. I got out of bed at 1pmish to go shopping. My mommy bought me Joe's Jean's for half of retail, Forever 21 blouses and shorts, and half cab's. With those half cabs came one pair of free socks, and a free can of monster. Yuuuum. No decent pictures to post up of pick ups. Just look for my recent pick up post on FSF. :) On the way back to the car, we stopped by See's Candy and sampled, well, candy. I tried this white chocolate covered toffee sprinkled in toasted coconut flakes. It wasn't too bad for the first thing I ate that day. After, bought food and ate, then hit up Target for more shopping. My sister is a douche. Enough said. Haha.

Saturday morning I had to wake up hella early. I was awake by 8am for church. Turns out that I didn't have to leave until 10:30am. Ugh, it never hurts to be ready, I guess. Playing in the PV orchestra was really interesting. It sucks without rehearsals. Plus, no one can hear the orchestra because of the loud ass organ. I swear the lady playing the organ was playing hella loud so that no one would hear us. But hey, I don't blame her. HAHA. After church, Kayla and I went home to chill and get ready, then Aleli's parents picked us up at 2pm. We arrived at Pat and Oscar's on time and what not, and had the PAPIA Cabinet meeting. The food was good, and listening to el Presidente was even greater. I'm so psyched for this school year! This is going to be another amazing year for PAPIA<3 So click the picture and support! Yea :)

After the meeting, Kayla and I ended up staying at Plaza Bonita for a few hours because she had more shopping to do. Unfortunately, she didn't cop shit. I kind of felt bad for her, but hey. If she wants to get what she wants, she needs to let our mom know what's up. We saw some of her homeboys who she is incredibly shy around, and I told to say "hi" to them. It didn't surprise me that she just kept walking past when I stopped for some hugs. I think, she needs to be a little more outgoing and open minded.. We ended up walking around some more to find the Moore's! I got to see YamYam my best buddy stand partner before school started. Sort of weird, but oh well. After walking around more, my dad called us to Macy's, and we left. We went for a while, then left again to the Navy Base. It was awkward because normally the base is swarming with shoppers, but last night it was pretty much empty. I'm not too used to that. When we all got there, I went straight to the cologne section. Mmmm, I miss the way Karl smells... An hour later we left. I fell asleep in the car while everyone else went to Office Depot. Then we got home, and I took a shower and straight chillllllled.

Today. Is. Boring. I gotta pick up my schedule next Friday, then go to Pacific Beach with Mattskeez. Then laser tagging with Aleli on Saturday night. Lastly, get ink'd up with Kuya Tom on Sunday.

Peace.

Summer Report #20

Time for a photo blog today.
I got pissed for various reasons and I threw my phone at the wall. Twice. Consequence:

I can't read shit off my phone, just that yellow-y glow. So if you call me, I don't know who's calling. If you text me, I can't read anything. This is one of the reasons why I need a new cell phone. Ugh.

After I cooled down, I got bored, so I decided to take a stab at cleaning my Hosoi II's. They were dirty from Van's Warped Tour in Fresno.


The right shoe was uncleaned since Warped. The left shoe is the one I cleaned up. Sorry for the just the FSF tag. I was too lazy to find the other tag with all my accounts, and I didn't wanna make a new tag.


The finished project of cleaning the Hosoi's. Took me an hour, more or less? I took a break while I waited for the right shoe's laces to dry. Then I laced em up and took a picture. I found my tag with all my accounts on it. :D

Before all the bullshit and phone throwing, I decided to pick up my viola and try to practice the music that my sister and I are playing for Sabbath on Saturday morning. I didn't look into my case since graduation day, and today when I picked it up, I noticed that I don't have my bow. I'm so pissed. The one I have is a straight ass wipe.

Peep the right picture. See the what's circled? That's the bow hair. See the hair that's missing? It's disappointing. I need a new viola, a new bow, a new shoulder rest, and a new case that locks. Smh at my school for the people that steal. So much talent, but so little respect.

Time to deal with reality. Oh by the way, my rooftop is now my official thinking spot. Maybe I'll take pictures of the view I get when I get really bored. Peace.

Summer Report #19

Whoa, summer vacation is almost over. I have exactly 2 weeks until school starts. Idk, I'm thinking that I'm screwed on the AP World History essay though. I don't have the book yet, and I won't be receiving it until Thursday or Friday. Curse you, Amazon! Ugh. I always seem to pull through though. Hopefully this time won't be any different. I'm allergic to failure.

School started for Karl yesterday.. I was a wreck. The denial is going away though. I'm finally accepting that school does come first. I just need a little more time. Now I just need someone or something to keep me busy all day until he gets home so I can talk to him at night. I don't think it's always gonna work though. Feenin' to talk to him all day when I can't because he has school. I have to wait until 8, 9, ugh, I don't even know, even 11pm to talk to him. Hopefully staying up late won't be a habit. I don't know, this just makes me more excited to graduate and not have to worry about the distance and not spending enough time with him.

Especially Nina. That trick is my other half. It's been since day one, homie. You don't even know. Nope, youdon'tevenknow. You. Don't. Even. Know. You don't even KNOW! I miss her. And her tiny apartment. And going to Van's Warped Tour with her. I'm so happy she's marinating. I hope the grill is ready, because things better start to heat up on her birthday! (; (; (; She is SUCH a "hipster". But she completes me. Her and her scarves. I don't know what she'd be without them.

So, two more weeks until school starts.. I have a lot of shit to work in. Definitely that essay. "Back-To-School" shopping on Thursday and Friday. Hopefully my mom will take me to Buffalo Exchange in PB for some steals so I don't have to wait to go with Mattskeez. I <3 Buffalo Exchange. I went crazy after I found that they have one here in San Diego after I got back from San Francisco. PAPIA Cabinet meeting next Saturday at Pat and Oscar's. Mmm, I can already smell the bread sticks. High school orientation to pick up my schedule and change whatever I need, then go to Pacific Beach with Mattskeez to hit up Buffalo Exchange. Laser Tag for Aleli's Sweet Sixteen the next night. Then El Cajon with Kuya Tom! Yea, that's whasup. Then back to school on the same day as Nina and Aleli's birthday. I need to buy them two presents.

Get with it, Deaj! Summer's pretty much over, you gotta get used to it. Ugh school sucks..

Love vs. Love pt. VIIII

This is Karl and I. We make one hell of a couple. I guess you would think that we're perfect for each other since we've been together and been holding it down with the long distance and all. The true matter of the fact is that, my parents hate him. They aren't down with wanting to get to know him or give him a chance at impressing them with how great and experiencing why he means so much to me. I guess you can say, "But Deaj, blood is always thicker than water!" Well, Karl is someone I love. And what is love? God is Love. Then you ask, "Then why don't your parents give him a chance? He looks nice, and since you're still with him, I'm assuming that he treats you very, very, well." And you're right. Karl does treat me with the utmost respect, and has cared for me more than any of my boyfriends, or best friends in that matter, have ever before. My parents don't give him the time of day. Nor do they want to. I guess it's a big deal that I'm still a little girl, and that I'm distracted by a boy I've been with for the past 7, going on 8, months, and that I can't and won't be able to handle school, family, and a boyfriend all at the same time. I'm afraid what they've been saying is "true". I received a 3.8 gpa at the end of the school year last semester. I guess I'm really "not ready" for a long distance/long term relationship.

Nonetheless, Karl and I have made our relationship work for almost 8 months, and I don't see how him and I can't make it work any longer. What's there to change? We've gone through bullshit nation and straight bliss and happiness. All the bullshit we've been put through has only made us stronger, together, and made us more happy to know that things have continued to work. We've both cried, we've both wanted to kill each other. But look at us, baby, look at us now. (Hah, tell me what song that is, and who it's by. I'll make you yummy cookies.) I have cousins and friends that believe in him and I. I don't see how we shouldn't be together. We have so much more memories to create and spend, why stop us now?

YOU tell me that there is someone better than Karl here in San Diego. Show me this person. You tell me that there's another humble, but cocky boy who loves photography and his style, is both insensitive and super sensitive all at the same time. You tell me that there's another boy who is 98% Filipino, 1% Japanese, and 1% Chinese. You tell me there's another boy in San Diego who will do anything to make a relationship between him and I no matter what my parents say. You tell me there's another boy that will spoil the crap out of me even though I don't want anything but to spend time with him. You tell me there's another boy with the same style as Karl. You tell me there's another boy in San Diego that will love me for who I am, not care about my looks, but only loves my looks because it seems to match my personality and just ups my game. You tell me there's another boy who'll stay up with me all night to comfort me, and talk about shoes with, and still not be too tired to call me whenever he's thinking of me. You tell me there's another boy in San Diego who's immediate family loves me from the first time that I meet them. You tell me that there's another boy that I can vent and tell absolutely anything to without being judged. You tell me there's another boy in San Diego that will comfort me for whatever reason I'm hurt about. You tell me there's another boy in San Diego that will ask me to be his, and only his, at midnight on Christmas Day of 2007. Bring me this boy.

Venting Session

I'm hurting. I'm crying. I'm forgiving. I'm forgetting. I don't know what I want to be when I'm older, but what I do know is that I want my parents to love as much as I do. I want to be able to count on you and your promises always. But right now, where am I? Am I close to achieving any of those goals? I need guidance. I need answers. I want to know.

It seems like that I do hold things back. I know for a fact that if I went and stayed in Manteca until Sunday that at Van's Warped Tour in Mountain View, Nina, Kevin, Kayla, and I would still have gotten back early. I'm so, I don't know, left out, and lonely. It's my fault that I left. Should I have left? I don't know.. I only start to look at these experiences as the beginning of what next week will be about. It's not his fault. It's not my fault. Who's fault is it? Rather, is it a fault? No, no. It's just the way it is. Ease up, get stronger. That's all that's in my head right now. I'm sprung, and I need comfort. But you're not there to give it to me. Who is? He is. I'm beginning to realize that He must have thrown this conflict at me to test me, and check that I'll still be able to handle not being with you, and depending so much with you. Ease up, get stronger. I'm done hurting. I'm done crying.

Summer Report #18

I'm back from my Manteca/San Francisco trip. I miss my cousins and Karl dearly. Oh yea, and the homeboys. Haha. I especially miss the fun time that we all had on Wednesday at Van's Warped Tour Fresno. Kayla, Nina, Kuya Kevin, and I had to wake up mad early to get ready for Warped Tour and we left to Madera by 7:30am. We got to Madera around 9amish? We exited off the freeway and chilled at the nearest gas station, which was a Chevron, while my cousins, sister, and I waited for the homeboys and my boyfriend. While we were waiting by the bathrooms, the guys showed up haha. Then we all slowly migrated back to the car while Javi and Victor went back to the house for some shittttt. They left Karl and Lance with us, so we ended up just chilling and taking pictures. AH, then I got scared by a beetle that was flying by, and I made Karl drop one of his lenses. I'm still sorry, Karl. :( Nonetheless, he forgave me. As soon as Javi and Victor got back, we loaded back into the cars and drove to Fresno with the boys following behind us.

We arrived at the Savemart Center around 10am, and waited in line for less than 40 minutes before we got inside. It was exciting, but then they wouldn't let Karl in with his "oh too professional" camera. Bummer. It was hella hot, too. Then we watched some band, "The Big Fish"? or something like that. After them we walked around to familiarize, then went back to watch the Gym Class Heroes. Argh, crazy shit. It was only noon, and we were all showered in sweat. Then Travis took it back to the Lamb of God. The crowd started pushing and shit, and then started a mosh pit where my sister got pushed into. A song after the Lamb of God shit, Karl and I pushed our way out and met up with my cousins and Lance. Then we all took Kayla to the arena, where her, Karl, and I ended up chilling for the longest time. The majority of the day was in and out of the arena cooling down, and walking around the place. The last concert we saw was Schwayze, and my sister and cousins went ahead. Karl and I took our time getting to the stage area in the back near the sound booth. We enjoyed it anyway. I got sad though, because right after Schwayze was Katy Perry, and my sister told me we were leaving, so Karl and I went back to the arena to meet up. When we got to the arena, we met Lance's niggapino cousin, Rudy. Dope guy. 45 minutes later, we met with Javi and his two other homeboys who looked tired as fuck. Then they got up to watch one last band while the rest of us left to go back to our cars. As we left the arena, Say Anything was playing, and I started dancing and singing. I got bummed that we were leaving while they were playing. But whatever. When we got back to the cars, we chilled and took more pictures while we waited for Javi and Victor. Then we all separated and left each other.

Yesterday was hard. I woke up crying for a good half hour. Good thing I have a boyfriend who's always there to reassure me. Thank you, Love. Afterwards, I packed up and cleaned Nina's room and bathroom. The bathroom looked so empty. Around 3pm we left for Oakland and flew back to San Diego. My mom picked my sister and I up, and we drove a long way home that felt like 5 hours, rather than 20 minutes. I miss Karl. <---- Don't you ever, EVER drink with Lance or Javi without me there.

Today, I'm stuck in San Diego washing clothes and getting back on track while my cousins, boyfriend, and friends are in Mountain View going to Van's Warped Tour, again. I'm ridiculously jealous.

Latest pick ups.

F21 Ruffled Chiffon Blouse sz M (up for sale)
UB Mauve Beret (from the boyfriend!<3)
F21 Purple Peacoat sz SM (from my aunt)
HB Tee sz M (from the boyfriend!<3)


F21 Blue Jacket sz M (from the boyfriend!<3)
F21 Tweed Dress sz M (from my aunt)
F21 Button Up sz S (from the boyfriend!<3)


The Human Abstract poster
NE 2008 Sampler (from the boyfriend!<3)
Van's Warped Tour Fresno ticket (from my uncle)
Free music stickers
Spiderman Notebook (from the boyfriend!<3)
Exclusive Video Clips (from Peta2)

he spoiled me a lots :-[

Love vs. Love pt. VIII

It's 9pm, and my cousins and I are home. And we're up to.. hm. absolutely nothing. We got home around 5:30pm, I wanna say. Oh, from the SF Westfield. It was fun, but I'm so depressed that I wasn't able to spend an entire weekend with my boyfriend.. He's so wonderful, and makes me so happy, it's really unfortunate that we can't spend more time together. It's even worse considering that this visit to San Francisco will have been my last for the year. I'm not saying that the visits suck, but I love being with Karl. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Even despite the arguments we run into, we always manage to fix it. And oh, the butterflies I get right before seeing him for the first time in months.. I love that feeling.

Yesterday, surprising him at his house was hilarious. When his dad answering the door with a surprised look on his face, then calling Karl out of his room. HAHA! Funny. But then the butterflies I got once he stepped out of his room and saw him.. Mmm. I love that feeling. It was cool being back in his room again. I'm kinda sad that I didn't get to sign his table. Hmph. Afterwards we went to Serramonte Center, then to the Daly City Century Theaters. We watched the beginning of WALL-E, and walked around. Nothing serious. Then went home.

Today, my cousins and I left the house HELLA early. I had to wake up at 8am to get ready. We left at freakin' 10am to pick up Joyce, then went straight to Haight St at 11am. Half of the shops were open, and the boys weren't there yet, so Nina, Kayla, and I walked around. It wasn't until noon when the boys got there. It was funny because Lance, Karl, and Andrea went across the street to Wasteland when Nina, Kayla and I were in some jewelry store on the other side of the street. Silly kids. Turns out that Karl and Javi were wearing the same exact flannel. HAHA. I picked up hellllla shit today, thanks to Karl. I love you so much! (: I'll post pictures on Friday when I go home to San Diego. We left around 2pm to go to Upper Playground on Fillmore. It was hella stupid because Javi didn't tell us, the girls, that we were going to Upper Playground. We all thought we were going to Huf. Then after, we left at 3pm, thinking that we were going to Tanforan when we ended up at freakin' Bloomingdale's. The situation was hella ridiculous.

But overall the day was fun, and I'm blessed that I got to spend as much time as possible with Karl this weekend. Other than that, I'm so confused right now. I need guidance. What really irks me is the amount of things that I'm not told. If I'm told one thing, and it's a big, important thing, than I would obviously consider it and change what I'm thinking. I'd rather someone be blunt and honest than someone who cares to make me happy and hide shit from me. I'm really hurting right now. But that doesn't matter. I'm upset about the facts that my family has been hiding shit from me, and not telling me important things that I really would take into consideration. I'm young, and I make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that I won't listen to what you have to say. Send me a lifeline of guidance, and I'll fucking take it.

When my long distance, long term relationship boyfriend sends me the pictures, I'll post them up.

Summer Report #17

Deaj here, blogging from Manteca. The last few days have been pretty crazy, but hey. It's everyone's fault for the way things went down, and now we all have to deal with it. I'm disappointed that I'll only get, like what, 5 days in SF. I only wish that I get to leave today. Ugh, at least I get to see Karl. It's been 3 months.

I'm too lazy for blogging this shit. Ugh.