All Inspiration, No Motivation

The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.

- Miss Lawn of Hellz Bellz

The more and more we discuss our futures together, the harder time we have to come to an agreement of where we want to be. I don’t know if there is compromise, but I don’t know if I can spend the rest of my life unable to express myself artistically. I mean, I understand stability and financial consistency, but what about repetition and staticity? Is that even a word? “Staticity”?

Wherever I end up, I just know I don’t want to be stuck in my late-20s with a mediocre job doing nothing for the rest of my life.

“move. do it. follow your passions. it will open the doors to far more possibilities. just remember to be responsible for all of your actions and have a back up plan at all times.”

- Jessica Gueco aka Yoshi of adventuresofyoshi.com

I hope I'm moving in the right direction.

-Deaj

Cataracts

Yesterday, my little brother and I worked out. We started back on Insanity and the workout was no joke :'( Later in the day, when my sister and dad got home, we went out. I drove us all the way from Paradise Hills to Fashion Valley Mall :D It was pretty crazy. My sister and I walked around and I found this gorgeous blush pink blazer that I couldn't buy for myself :'( Later, we left to Lemon Grove to Discount Dance Supply for Kayla to pick up some things she needed for the Senior Dance Production. I have to say, I'm pretty excited to see all three shows Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night.

After, we left to Parkway Plaza Westfield in El Cajon since all of the Borders bookstores are closing. I picked myself up a copy of Lauren Conrad's book, Style, and I'm super excited to read it. I have to admit, I've always been a fan of her's since Laguna Beach and the Hills and I've just been waiting to buy it.

For dinner, we visited our church friend, Clarivel, at her workplace at SushiMan. I ordered the Kid's Bento. I couldn't even finish everything :'( Hahaha. It was definitely worth the $5 spent. I wish they had a location closer to my neighborhood.

I can't wait until I have more "productive" days like this. I love going out and doing something with my life, like driving around in general. The 20 minutes drive from my house to Fashion Valley  Mall totally took a lot out of me! June 23 sounds soo good right now...

Enjoy. 

ΔΔΔ

Definitely in the mood for some change. I can't do it until I'm up and out of high school and out of my parents house, but I've been craving independence since day 1. (Hey. Don't judge me. It's every teenagers dream to drive their own car and chill with friends when they want to! ...Yes, I live under a house with strict parents who don't let me do either of those things.)

One of the most valuable aspects of freedom that I look forward to is accountability—the ability for me to make my own decisions under the influence of accepting the consequences that follow it. Not that I'm not on some H.B.I.C. tip already or anything, but hey, I'll get to do what I want and take initiative for it.

Some things I'm looking forward to (assuming I'm living at CSUN):

• Going where ever the hell I want. Whether it's visiting my parents and siblings back in San Diego, to driving the streets of Sunset Blvd., to finding a parking spot on Haight St., I'll be driving myself around. No chauffeur necessary.
• Wearing what I want. Not that I don't get to do that already...but. I hinder myself from wearing what I want because 1.) no tengo dinero, 2.) my parents do not approve, 3.) I need to dress "modestly" (meaning not profane streetwear, lulz—"Other Bitches Ain't Shit" and "D.I.Y." MTTM tees.), 4.) San Diego is weaksauce when it comes to shopping, 5.) my parents don't approve.
• Investing in my own camera and camera equipment. I still shoot now, of course, with my dad's Sony Alpha 350, but it's really limiting. I'd like to move on to a Canon in hopes of being able to capture what I imagine in my brain. Maybe I "just don't know know how to use a camera", but I don't think that's an issue at all.
• Sitting around in creative juices. I love San Diego and all, but I don't know any photographers here? Eh? I wanna intern somewhere in L.A. amongst working on a B.A. at CSUN!
• Sprinkles. DUH?
• Physical appearance. I'm planning to start off with straight bangs and then when they grow out past my chin, I'm going to cut it allllll off :) Prior to that (hopefully in the summer), I'm looking into getting something pierced. Yuuuss.

Taken today. The thought of chopping off my hair is always on my mind...I don't know why.

So, for any living creative that reads my blog—what are you looking forward to this year?

-Deaj

Secrets of a Wild Child

Freedom couldn't come any sooner. Today, like the entire week and the rest of second semester, has been uneventful. :( That and I didn't take too many pictures today. I need to overcome inconsistency.

Nomz vol. cafeteria food: Schezuan Chicken rice bowl

Sister

- Deaj

Still

Yesterday was chill--nothing too crazy. I'm starting to get senioritis...I believe it. It's real, LOL. I'm finding more and more excuses to find going to class annoying and pointless. *Sigh. That and this "break up" or whatever one might prefer to classify it as is exhausting.

An Pham gifted me with homemade Thai tea with boba. Holla at cho giiiirl. Nomz, it was so delish! During my second class, some of the student body (including myself) was able to watch a live interview with Tonya Lewis Lee, the producer of the documentary, I Sit Where I Want. I have to admit, the documentary wasn't as great as I envisioned it to be, but the interview was well worth it. Everything after that was pretty uneventful.

Oh, and I'm becoming an insomniac again. I hate this shit because of how lonely and consuming it gets. I'm tired of being tired. Lastly, my camera is broken. At least the focus is. I don't know, but I'm slowly disliking my Sony because of the way it functions... I should get this fixed soon

Anatomy and Physiology: Making Scents of Memories

L-R: LeeAnn Kim (SDAFF director), Tonya Lewis Lee, and Mitzi Lizarraga (SDSCPA principal)

-Deaj

Success and Nothing Less.

Last night, my family hosted small groups for the youth at my house. The parable was about the harvest in Matthew 13 and how it's applicable in our lives today. For me, I related it to how I want to keep taking pictures to hopefully my efforts (in time) will reap success, creatively and in innovative ways. Just trying to weed out any distractions is an issue but waiting until the time is right is the real challenge. I'm taking my camera everywhere I go (again) to force myself to shoot and get over laziness.

I'm gonna miss taking visual arts classes, or just art school in general...

They were trying to catch cheerios with their mouths...

Kodeigh Hüyin

Outfit deets: Levi's denim jacket, American Eage henley (undershirt), Forever 21 pink eyelet dress, Hellz Bellz "Militia" hoodie, socks from Target, Dirty Laundry rain boots

Nomz vol. salad and Pat & Oscar's breadsticks

Nomz vol. Kentucky grilled chicken

Til It Happens to You

Valentine's day recap? I think not.

Nothing too special—just a rose, chocolate covered strawberries, a gram, and lunch from a few close guy friends and not so close guy friends... Haha.

- Deaj

Good is great, but bad is better

Some things to invest in for my future references:

• (Nasal) Septum September
• Zenki
• Holy grails (yes, I'm still on that sneaktip!): Bred and Royal I's, TB/Black cement III's, White cement/Bred IV's, Oly VII's, Bred/Cool Grey/Space Jam XI's
• Disneyland
• Sprinkles
• Books
• Toms
• Haircut

Outro!

- Deaj

On a more serious note,

if there's some thing you should know about me, it's that I am straightforward, forthright, direct, candid, honest, and in other words, blunt. Given the chance, I will tell you straight up, bullshit aside. And if you can't handle what I have to say, then keep your mouth closed and opinions to yourself.

Nonetheless...I really want a pair of Toms. I never had the chance of buying myself a pair (except on Black Friday 2010 when I was at this surf store called Sun Diego at the Fashion Valley Westfield). All of their Toms were on sale, but the pair I wanted didn't have my size in stock :'( If I could buy any pair now, I'd opt for this pricey pink Cordones.

-Deaj

Lonely Hearts Club

Just some thoughts because I'm finished the what I can accomplish tonight for yearbook and because I don't feel like reading about Hell at night (curse you, Dante).

• High school is more scandalous than I thought. You really think you can trust someone, but you can't. Oh well, I'm just gonna keep grinding along like always
• High School Mock Trial Competition is the next high school conference. No doubt. It is the bomb dot com and after you know you've done pretty well, instant gratification hits you harder in the debriefing. RTS: write a future blog about Mock Trial. Soon.
• Yearbook is not living up to its full potential. But I guess under these circumstances, this will have to do. 
• I miss having baguettes... Yes, that delicious sandwich filled with Vietnamese goodness. I've only had Lee's, but I'm drying to try out this new baguette place in Mira Mesa D; 
• Four more months until I graduate
• Seven more months until college
• Loyal member of the Lonely Hearts Club this Valentine's Day—sometimes I wish that I was with you again because I'm sick of this on and offness. I don't know. 

I'm tired.

Semi-Senior Ditch Day pt. II

Last day of January—the first day of my last semester of high school. My best friend, Celine, and I left class halfway through our first class. Bad ass. Whatchuknowaboutdat. Bahahaha. First, we chilled at Celine's house 'til around 10am before the malls opened. After, we headed to Plaza Bonita Mall for some window shopping at H&M, Forever 21, and Cotton On, lunch at Hibachi-San, and then dessert at Cinnabon. Mwahahaha.







L-R: My earrings for the day; earrings that Celine bought me; Celine's earrings.


The green Smackers nails for my out reference. So cute!
For lunch Celine and I had teriyaki salmon with rice and mixed veggies.
For dessert, we indulged: Caramel Pecanabon and assorted Tollhouse cookies.
Naturally on lookbook.nuMy fit for the day—earrings (hand-me-down by my Mom), blazer/sweater (borrowed by my mom), ruffled top (borrowed from my sister), black skinnies (Forever 21), wedges (H&M). 
-Deaj