I'm sitting in Starbucks supposedly working on my application essays but I'm just so distracted by the meandering thoughts in my head of the past week. We've been on more than a few dates and I finally had my first NYE kiss. Everything's been almost straight out of a movie and I love it. I'm on cloud nine but I know I gotta stay grounded. There's bound to be tension to bring me back to reality but so far everything's just been perfect. I'm just waiting for the instance that I find something I don't like about him since everything has been perfect.
But I mean, I went to my first rave. It was an incredible experience. I wish I could remember every second of it and that's what frustrates me the most. I think I'm only thinking about this in my spare time because of my boredom. I don't know. Maybe I just haven't been able to fully vent it out of my system. I worry that he's gonna get tired of me soon even though it's been such a short time. I know he's bound to figure out something about me that he doesn't like and I'm trying to prepare myself for it...though I should realize why the fuck does it matter? I'll just boil it down to its simplest form: he'll find shit about me he doesn't click with and he'll either keep liking me or he won't. And if he doesn't, then it's his loss. But why am I trippin' about it right now. Ugh, the angst.
I hate that I have to reassure myself that he *actually* likes me and finds me attractive.
