Thoughts for the Future

• Loma Linda University vs. Art Center College of Design 
• Toronto, Canada?

Mmm. That's all for now.

Dear Deaj-who-just-graduated-from-high-school,

Well. Right now, I'm about to finish my first semester of college. It must be weird to read that last sentence. From June 10th until forever, there's going to be change—and a lot of it. Firstly, even though CSUN wasn't your first choice, enjoy it. At least try. Taking on 16 units this semester wasn't too difficult, but I should've paid attention more and missed less of my Math 101 class than I did. I mean, if your DBNO wasn't such a great plus to living in the San Fernando Valley, then I'm sure you would have done more than wonderfully...but who knows. The hour breaks between my classes were awkward, but I learned to (somewhat) make as much use of them as possible. I'm gonna try to never let that happen again. CSUN isn't everything I wanted in my university experience (as of my first semester), but who knows, I still have a while to become involved. Going to Friendship Games to meet with out Fil-Am CSU students at Fullerton sounded so great—I wish I went. But sometimes, just staying here in the Valley is nice too. The workload at SCPA is kind of similar to what it is in college; you really have to take initiative to 1) show up to class, 2) do your homework, 3) get a decent grade, and 4) actually benefit from it. Actually, a lot of college thus far has been a lot of you get what effort you put it. When I say this, I mean, if you put in effort to try new things, the outcome will have more possibilities versus if you sit at home and stay on tumblr—probably nothing is going to happen. But, I think that's okay. So far, I think the first two years of college are about trying new things, making mistakes, and then becoming a better person. Something I did was explore. Explored my potential for my future, from art school to transferring to a private university after I finish my G.E. classes. Of course, Mom and Dad's advice (or lack thereof) isn't helpful. Well, maybe they didn't offer any advice because that was their advice: independence. Wow, maybe just a semester of college does make you a more profound and insightful person in the world, haha! But anyway, I've been trying to take things one step at a time. If I look to far ahead, I get lost in what's right in front of me. But with just about a semester under my belt, I still have no idea what's to come. I guess this is the part where I say only God knows. Oh yeah, living under a roof where your parents don't control whether you attend church or not is a little bit...great. You choose when you want to go to church. You don't have parents forcing you to go—kind of spoon feeding you with the religious fulfillment they think you need. It's all up to you to keep your faith and run with (or without) it. But all in all, keep an open mind. It's helped me get through this first semester and its obstacles. I'm sure it'll help us with the rest of lives—or, life, since there's only one of us? Whatever. I hope I get a job soon. And a dog. And my own apartment with utilities.

XOXO,

Deaj Quimen, the college freshman.

1. You all are so damn rude for leaving practice early, thinking it was okay. She wouldn't hold a practice longer than what was needed unless she thought it was necessary. If someone needs to be on time for a preplanned appointment, then she needs to leave. But when all of you all think that's the green light to leave, that shit doesn't run by me. Secondly, I can't believe you all left even after she said that my mom was going out of her way to buy food to feed you all. My sister and I have never left unless necessary when offered food, especially when your mother has cooked or bought food for us.
2. I can't believe you specifically left early just to hang out with your boyfriend, as if you didn't skip community service to hang out with him already. 
3. Sometimes I just get so annoyed of being at home. But honestly, it's only when I have nothing to do, but you guys know it's because I miss being with you guys and spending time with the two of you besides meal times. 
4. No, I will not continue to stay in youth choir knowing that you didn't want to let me have a copy of the music or send me a copy of the sheet music itself to practice while I'm in college, which is out of town. I hope you consider me a great loss to the section. 
5. No, I will not join hula. If it was a smaller group of maybe 3-4, I definitely would. I know you don't appreciate that I don't want to put my pride beside me and help you out, but you know that I have tried over and over again to tolerate the very people who disrespect you during your practices, but I just can't do it. Maybe next time, when it's you, me, and two other "decent" people. Also, you know that I love you and I want you help you join a halau. I know it's been your dream for a while, and I wanna support you and your potential talent. 

Come at me.

Moodless

I can't believe I'm here in San Diego. This is the worst weekend that I've been here thus far. I mean, when I got here on Wednesday night, it was pretty good into Thursday night. And now, it's just crap. I don't want anything to do with the hula girls. I also don't want anything to do with the choir. On top of that, I haven't even talked with my parents about anything that matters, like tuition or getting braces or having my wisdom teeth coming out. But even so, it's not so much that it's about me. I've just been so sour lately.

The fact that I spent $50 on Jon yesterday and not myself...I don't know why that is. And the fact that I'm purposely alienating myself from practice is just kind of annoying. I want to go back to Jon's house where I can be with him and just love him.

I feel so unwanted here in San Diego. I don't care to be here. I left because I wanted to get away from all of this, but now I'm back. Great.

Christmas Day

Christmas Day by deajquimen featuring hair bow accessories

MILK & MONEY

I got up late but was mad excited for the early rain in G Hills today. To my pleasant surprise, after being in class for a good 10 minutes, my professor let us out 45 minutes early, so I jet over to Jon's house. Since I didn't eat before I left for class, I made Jon, Julie Anne, and myself french toast. Nomz. Later, we chill and take turns playing Nyan Cat in Space (lol) until his Ate Anna gets to his house. Right before Jon finishes washing the dishes, his Ate comes home and starts giving him a tough time, lol. We eat lunch together and then spontaneously get up and ready to go to The Milk Shop in LA, more towards Beverly Hills. Even though she's five month pregs, Ate Anna insisted on driving so Jon and I ended up falling asleep in the back seat. 

When we go to Beverly Boulevard, we had such a hard time find The Milk Shop! It was so tiny and literally on the corner of its cross stress perpendicular to Beverly. Ate Anna treated all of us and we ended up getting 2 red velvet ice cream sandwiches (one for Ate Anna and I), 1 red velvet ice cream bar (for Julie Anne), a slice of carrot cake (for Jon), and two whoopie pies and three bite sized red velvet cakes (for Julie Anne). After we had our fill—which by the way, was amazing—we drove and decided to swing by "Boorbunk" (Burbank) to watch Breaking Dawn, since we had free tickets. Unfortunately, Jon wasn't feeling too well when we got there, so we drove back to the valley. Instead, we ended up going to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen in Northridge for dinner for free. I had jambalaya. NOMZ.

I ended my day at Jon's house where we watched SCPA's 2011-2012 Dance Off and a part of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Now I'm home, fresh out of the shower, and trying not to anticipate how stressful tomorrow will be. Yes, I'm attempting to film a 16-18 minute video in less than 12 hours tomorrow. How successful will I be? We'll have to wait.

"A rainy day calls for a storm trooper."

Outfit details:

Green jacket / H&M Divided

Gray button up (layered underneath jacket) / Urban Outfitters

White top / Hand-me-down

High waisted shorts / Thrifted

Tights / Target

Over the knee socks / H&M

Lita's / Jeffrey Campbell

Red velvet ice cream in between two red velvet macarons halfway dipped in white chocolate (courtesy of The Milk Shop in Los Angeles).

His: Target, Her's: Jeffrey Campbell

Jambalaya from CPK!

Our free food :)

XOXO,

That moment when...

...it's past midnight and I wish I was sleeping over at Jon's house because it would be so much easier for me to sleep and not stay up this late.

911

I'm so tired everyday. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted from money...or lack thereof. I'm so drained by how much I feel like everything is out of my hands. I feel insufficient, again. Like every time I look into my back account, my mom keeps replenishing my funds with $200 every 1-2 weeks. Since when do I even spend $200 at a time, let alone in a week?! I'm also so infuriated about my inability to be self sufficient, or at least to a greater extent compared to now. I can't find a job and I don't have any scholarships. The fact is that my parents are paying close to $3000 next semester for my tuition for 1) classes I don't care about, 2) classes that are GEs but are so irrelevant to my major, 3) at a school I don't love, 4) for a major I may not even keep. I'm so tired of playing the waiting game. I just feel so weary and unfaithful to God, questioning what direction my life is going. Why am I still waiting? Why can't I do more? Why don't I be more proactive? 

Lord, I know that I should trust you more, especially about what plans you have for my future, but I'm becoming more and more distressed.  

American Dreamin'

While I'm halfway past my first semester of college, I'm still in deep conflict with myself about what I want to pursue...and at the same time, right now I should either be sleeping, doing homework, or eating. Instead, I'm blogging and listening to Corrine Bailey Rae's The Love EP on Pandora. Currently in the process of downloading via mediafire.

I digress.

The reason why I really wanted to blog was because I just finished exhausting the few careers I would potentially pursue in my lifetime: a registered nurse to a nurse practitioner/nurse administrator, clinical laboratory scientist to a higher administrative position, public relations/advertising executive/manager/director, and my preference, graphic designer to creative director. It's funny to think that my first semester during my senior year in high school was truly devoted to figuring out which university I would be attending when really, it should have been what career I'd be passionate to pursue for the rest of my life. I think that was my demise. Nonetheless, mistakes lead to better decisions. But more so, I was exhausting the Bureau of Labor Statistics for one of the essays that I need to write and complete by Tuesday at 11:59pm (despite the fact that it was assigned probably more than a month in advance).

I feel like I always put this thought process off...even though I've thought about it every now and then and have tried to put my plans into action. Like the fact that I visited my dream school, Art Center College of Design, but found that money was way too much of an issue or the fact that I really shouldn't be at CSU Northridge, but instead, at Loma Linda University for Medical Technology so I can get into the field quicker. So. Many. "Buts." 


Even so, I still find myself gravitating back to graphic design to eventually become an artistic director. It's ambitious. And risky. But I'm (almost) in for it. I'm just so afraid and hesitant about my parents becoming heartbroken to either 1) become poor trying to support my desire to attend art school, or 2) disowning me because they seriously can't afford my dreams.

I just don't know what I want to do yet...

...in both terms of writing my essay or planning my future.

Christmas List

College hasn't been what I expected to be. So far, my experience has included lack of parties, drinking, straight A's, let alone academic success to say the least. Amidst all of my high school shown success, college has deprived me of such—and I'm butthurt about it. Dragging grades less than B's have grown to prove the stereotypical college freshman, but then again, they're not relevant to my major? Who am I kidding. I don't know what I want to major in. I love all things visually appealing, but science keeps its pull on me at the end of the day. Hopefully my career center appointment tomorrow will help me narrow options down. If not, I'm gonna be shit outta luck once I finish my GE's.

So...

Dear Santa,

While I would love countless pairs of Jeffrey Campbell, Sam Edelman, and Messeca NY heels, tons of new/vintage clothing, and an iPhone this Christmas, I'd much rather prefer a realistic sense of what major I could potentially pursue within the next 6 months.

Thanks,

Us | #1

After my 8am English class, I went to Jon's house. I can't remember what we did there, but judging by my tweet, we hung out, had a tickle fight, and I won, hehe. We left before noon to pick up a few things at Target and then gas up at Costco. It was pouring all morning and a bit into the afternoon; I love the rain... We ended up going back to my place to wait for the UPS man to come drop off my Lita's, haha.

While we waited, I cleaned the house a bit and made us lunch. It was such a struggle trying to open the can of corned beef hash! I ended up calling my landlady to find out that she had an electric can opener the whole time Jon and I were trying to use the manual can opener we found in a drawer and a knife LOL. I finally was able to start cooking. In the meantime, Jon was taking pictures of my landlady's cats. Finally, I finished cooking and we had corned beef hash, eggs, and rice for lunch.

We waited longer to the point that I needed Jon to leave so that my landlady didn't know he was here (she has a policy about the opposite sex being over and whatever). So I waited longer for my Lita's, but they didn't show up. Around 5:30pm, Jon came back with Timmy the Golf and we left only to find that the UPS man dropped by 5 minutes after! I made a U turn so quickly back home.

Anyway, we left the Valley to meet with the birthday boy, Andrew, and his girlfriend and other friends at his downtown LA apartment. We all kicked it for a bit and then left to take the "scenic route" to Hae Jong Chon, a Korean barbecue restaurant in Korea Town. Long story short, the wait was ridiculous. They had us waiting well over 2 hours and 20 minutes to be seated and eating! Nonetheless, I did think it was worth the wait—tons of laughs, "3 HOURS?!?," and great food. The beef we had was so tender and delicious, and the service was impeccable.

After dinner and the loud ass birthday celebration, we all dispersed. Jon and I were so beat! Luckily, Jon offered to drive us home because it was well past midnight (and my curfew!) and let me sleep the entire way home, especially since I had an 8am class the next morning.

All in all, a great Friday. Picture heavy, as always :)

Mimi, the mama cat of the house

Fluffy

All of us, excluding Jon, who was taking the picture

L-R: Jelissa, Liza, and I

Jon, Aaron, Andrew, and Albert

As seen in my last post :)

The LOML and I

Brisket—my favorite!!

XOXO,

Maxxx

I finally bought myself a pair of black JC Lita's for my birthday. I ordered them from solestruck.com and I'm seriously loving them. Back when the trend began, I thought they were completely stupid looking—but obviously, I've succumbed to the look! I have to be honest though. I was extremely hesitant to order them, knowing that they were $160. Nonetheless, I ordered them on Oct 30th and received them on the 4 of November right before I was going to LA.

And I've seriously worn them the past two days. Let me break down why I love em:

• Chunky heel
• Black leather
• Wearable in the rain
• Comfortable as fuck!
• Extremely easy to walk in
• Creates the illusion that my legs go on for days
• Makes me 5'7"
• I can wear them the entire day before my feet go sore
• I can drive in them

XOXO,

UPS? No.

Um. So. I'm here. In my room. Instead of at Jon's house. Because I'm waiting. For. MY LITA'S.

/)_-

Impatience will be my demise.

But anyway. Jon and I are supposed to be going to dinner for his homie's birthday tonight and I was planning to wear my Lita's. But seeing how the UPS man decided to wait last minute to drop off my shoes since I wasn't home yesterday, he must hate me.

No tip for you, Mr. UPS.

Movember/No Shave November

With a strong whiff of burnt bagel lingering in my nostrils, I'd like to announce that being 18 years and 8 days old has been awesome. I was able to go to San Diego this past weekend after my English class on Saturday morning. When I finally got to church in less than 3 hours, I swooped Kayla up to watch her, Michaela, and Jamie perform at Bethune Elementary's Fall Festival. After dropping them off, Kayla and I went to our baby cousin's second (and nonetheless, fabulous) birthday party. Kickin' old school with my family and my uncles and aunties who grew up together and are now marrying each other is way too cute. Later that night, Kayla and I went to the mall where it felt like we spent hours walking around and doing nothing.

Sunday morning, Ate April, Kayla, and I hit up Fashion Valley Mall to blow off some much unneeded steam. We had a few expectations to buy some things, but didn't really end up getting anything, lol! We decided to go to Urban Outfitters Hillcrest in hopes of having better luck, but didn't. For me, I just couldn't commit to anything. I guess someone returned online items in store and I found the black floral print doc martin's in my size and a pair of ankle rain boots. The doc's were actually really cute, but I couldn't seem to commit to buying them because I felt like they weren't waterproof! I also found a pair of gloves that are amazing and I plan on buying later when it starts getting colder. Anyway, Ate April and I left empty handed, but Kayla bought herself a cute bag for school. We dropped by In-N-Out on the way home for lunch. I ended up leaving around 4pm to wait 30+ minutes in line for Costco gas and left the area around 4:45pm to make it back to the valley in two hours and fifteen minutes flat. I guess you should call me Speedy McSpeedster.

My Halloween was spent with Jon, and all we did was chill. I was able to go to Michael's and buy knitting needles and yarn :) That evening, after debating whether we should go rent a movie at Redbox, we ended up watching Twilight. Yes. Twilight. And needless to say, I'm hooked. I laughed immaturely at several awkward parts but I'm so interested in what happens next. The romance between Bella and Edward is somewhat thought provoking, but totally makes sense. But I'm not a fan girl, so stop fanning me.


Anyway, here are some (chronological) pictures that are pretty irrelevant to my posts. I'll start shooting more often when my life starts getting eventful, heh.

Post 18th birthday, day

"Ratchet gravy run"

Photoshopped coilovers on Timmy the Golf

The Fatlace iPhone hard case I bought for Jon

Lianna's 2nd birthday cupcakes

The four types of chocolate cheesecake my parents had in San Diego that weekend, lol!

The huge ass macaroon from Porto's!!

Me, knitting from this morning while warming up my car :)

Lastly, me coming out of the Twilight closet to my sister, Kayla LOL

XOXO,