Viva sem arrependimentos, ame sem dar explicações

My future is still so unclear. I'm on the fence about two things: graphic design and medical technology. I'm so fucking frustrated about how much I need to invest my body, mind, and spirit in this decision—and the fact that I've been putting it off is just taking a toll on me. I'm on the phone with him right now and everything he's saying is going through one ear and out the other. It's not because I don't love him and I don't want his input, but at the same time, he isn't going to be paying for my university/art school education. It's so much pressure to think that he doesn't want to be with me now because we don't know what our future is going to hold for us both. Why can't it be that he wants to stay here and support me with whatever decision I end up making? Of course I've considered the option that will be the best for the both of us...and that's the option I'm leaning towards. But at the same time, if the roles were switched, I would want the best for him, whether his future involves me or not. I would just want whatever makes him the happiest, whether he ends up proposing to me...or another girl. I'm not saying that I want what we have to end, but why is it that it's my decision to make?